he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
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i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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