Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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