You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I will be naked everywhere
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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