he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
