How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
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