I wish I only lived at night.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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