Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
