So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
try to milk me bitch
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