Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
