I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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