Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
They left me at home... I'm a liability
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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