im about as happy as oj after his trial
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
