She said her name was "party"
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
