no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
