Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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