I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
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I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
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Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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