There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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