So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
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Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
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Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
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