you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
