The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
