I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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