How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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