then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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