apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Your cock deserves a montage
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
