Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
