my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
