yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
