it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
