Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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