i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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