You don't have asthma, your pregnant
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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