oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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