She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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