I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
