i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
