Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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