I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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