talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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