I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
