He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
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I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie