Texts From Last Night

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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.

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  (541): I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god. http://tfl.nu/ci1f
  Replies (10) Good night (6415) Bad night (1030)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.

  (1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.

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  (215): I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done. (1-215): I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together. http://tfl.nu/q0m2
  Replies (19) Good night (4885) Bad night (1076)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well

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  (305): We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well http://tfl.nu/ng2b
  Replies (8) Good night (3296) Bad night (1598)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.

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  (240): Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic. http://tfl.nu/gchg
  Replies (5) Good night (4476) Bad night (1688)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups

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  (724): I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups http://tfl.nu/pn1i
  Replies (5) Good night (2140) Bad night (742)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.

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  (717): Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake. http://tfl.nu/07i4
  Replies (14) Good night (1814) Bad night (2700)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.

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  (215): If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will. http://tfl.nu/oylu
  Replies (9) Good night (1231) Bad night (490)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game

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  (781): Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game http://tfl.nu/qq6a
  Replies (3) Good night (521) Bad night (991)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup

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  (248): Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier? (1-248): Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup http://tfl.nu/318d
  Replies (0) Good night (611) Bad night (1004)
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  (916): View more from California

  The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.

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  (916): The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu. http://tfl.nu/i9o3
  Replies (3) Good night (1735) Bad night (501)
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  (619): View more from California

  But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.

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  (619): But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection. http://tfl.nu/g9u5
  Replies (18) Good night (865) Bad night (1082)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.

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  (229): I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win. http://tfl.nu/j7rq
  Replies (1) Good night (779) Bad night (403)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert

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  (203): I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert http://tfl.nu/7kxa
  Replies (2) Good night (508) Bad night (446)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.

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  (407): you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest. http://tfl.nu/qs4v
  Replies (10) Good night (1142) Bad night (602)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.

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  (613): So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night. http://tfl.nu/3s94
  Replies (2) Good night (485) Bad night (195)

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