very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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