Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize