Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
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Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
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You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
All I want is dick and wine.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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