we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
