Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
