Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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