I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
