I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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