playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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