you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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