like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
