Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
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