there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
