I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
