But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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