You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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