Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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