6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
