We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Randomize
