They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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