Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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