Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
