So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
